This mornings episode of Mornings with God start before I even get out of bed. I feel Him tugging at me, gently nudging me to get out of bed. It would be so easy to skip today. It’s Sunday and we had a late night last night. It’s chilly outside. My bed is warm and cozy. Then I hear “Not a good day for a pity party, Marcia”.
Me: Really? I get the message already? I’m not out of bed yet. Oh… you meant that for me. But I don’t feel like I was having a pity party.
God: Guess again. You had a dozen excuses (that you call reason) for not joining me this morning. I’m waiting for you.
Me: Can we talk here instead today?
Go: Seriously? NO! Let’s go.
~ I drag myself out of bed and throw some warmer clothes on and quickly tip toe to the top of the stairs where my Bible, chair, and notebook are waiting for me. I settle in and read a few Proverbs. They’re interesting but I’m anxious since we’ve already started a good dialogue this morning.
Me: Happy Sunday!
God: Happy Sunday, child. Are you ready for the message for my people today?
Me: Yes, I am ready.
God: Good, because I already gave it to you. (we both chuckle). Tell them to stop the pity party. It’s not good to wallow in self pity and loathing. Oh sure, feel bad for a minutes if you have to, but ENOUGH with the pity party. We have a lot of work to do and that’s not productive. It’s actually counter-productive.
God: Remember Psalm 23:4 – Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of darkness, I will fear no evil, for you are with me.
Me: Of course. You know that’s a favorite of mine. I’ve said many times that it doesn’t say ‘stop and wallow’. It says “walk”… keep going.
God: Exactly! Marcia, this question is for you. What are you holding on to and wallowing in self pity?
Me: More than I want to admit.
God: You do a good job on the outside, most of the time. You still have work to do, though.
Me: Ok. No pity party. Any advice?
God: Keep moving. Keep going. It’s ok to feel those feelings. Feelings are good and necessary. Don’t take up camp there though. Move through it. That’s not your home. Figure out what those things are that you’re holding on to and release them. STOP THE PITY PARTY.
God: It’s like you’re turning your nose up at some of the gifts I’ve given you. Work through these things and be joyful. You good?
Me: Yep. I got it. I’m good.
God: Great! Now go write.
~ As I’m writing this I attempt to think of what else I can add but I come up blank because this one hit me right between the eyes this morning. I sit at the keyboard wondering “Where am I still having a pity party? I have so much to be thankful for.”
I realize that I do still hold on to some things that cause me to spiral into a pity party. I look down at my chest where my breast used to be. For those that don’t know me personally, I’m a breast cancer survivor. I had a double mastectomy in August of 2016. I’m three years now with a body part that used to define me and who I was as a woman. There isn’t a day that goes by that I’m not reminded of this. Instead of looking at what I lost during my battle with cancer, I turn my thoughts to all that I gained. Sure I lost my hair. So what… that was actually kinda fun to be bald. If you saw my hair now you’d never know.
Sure I lost my breast and have these fake ones. So what! I don’t have to wear a bra unless I want to.
What I gained far more than anything I lost. I gained so much that I can’t even begin to list it.
Maybe today you’re pity party isn’t around what you lost but dread for what the day is about to bring. That’s part of it for me too. I have a crazy busy day. I’m traveling yet again and it’s very tiring. But it’s going to be a good trip. They always are.
So I give myself a pep talk and straighten my tiara and march forward as a child of God. Ready for whatever this day brings.
You got this. I’m not saying it’s easy. It’s certainly not easy for me. But let’s agree to stop the Pity Party. Deal? Deal.
Make Today Count.