I’m sleepy and weary from traveling and sleeping in a strange bed. I feel like my brain was on overload a lot yesterday. I’m still trying to make sense of these sessions and their purpose and am I doing this right. Is there a right way? Maybe I’m just crazy. I’m trying to make sense of all that has happened over the past few weeks and piece it all together. It’s very hard to do that when I don’t have all the pieces. This morning’s time with God started out like a wrestling match again and went something like this…
Me: Good morning, Lord
God: Well good morning, Marcia You seem restless, again.
Me: I am. I have lot running though my brain.
God: Really? Like what?
Me: I know you already know. We talked about it all day yesterday.
God: No, you talked. I shook my head while you ran around in circles, but continue.
Me: I super excited with our time together. I even more excited with writing the blog.
Me: But I’m worried I’m not doing enough. I’m worried I’m not hearing you clearly enough to relay the messages properly. I’m worried people will think it’s about me and not about You.
God: Ok, slow down. Where does this worry come from? I know it’s not from me. I want to take that from you so you don’t have to carry it.
Me: I worry that there is a day without a message.
God: Oh you mean like today?
Me: What? No message today. Awh come on.
God: Yes, that’s what I was planning today. Let’s regroup instead because you’re missing the point. First of all, this is not about you, Marcia. It’s about them, my people. The benefit you get is a bonus but that’s on the purpose.
Me: Ok, got it. Thank you.
God: Secondly, what’s the initial message?
Me: Love my people. My people need you.
God: Ok good. Now listen carefully, Marcia. You’re getting too hung up on the process and all this other stuff that you’re losing sight of the real purpose here. We’re only a few weeks into this and you acting like a lunatic. More so as the day goes on.
Me: I feel like I don’t know enough to be your messenger. I’m not scholarly. I’m not able to recite verse after verse. I’m not…
God: Did I ask you to me any of that?
God: Did I ask you to learn more, though?
God: Are you doing that?
God: Then what’s the problem? What did I ask you do to?
Me: Come back every day and spend time with you.
God: Are you doing that?
Me: Yes, but…
God: But nothing. Calm down and enjoy the journey. If you get yourself all worked up and your head full of worry you’re no good to anyone. Stop with the “what ifs”. Let me take those. I’ll handle those when and if they come.
Me: But I’m a planner.
God: Yes, that’s a gift I’ve given you. But even our gifts can be a hindrance if not used properly. Stop trying to plan this and learn to roll with it. You did so good in the beginning. Now you’re turning something beautiful into something you’re allowing to make you crazy.
Me: (deep sigh) I see you’re point. So what message can I give everybody today?
God: No message.
Me: Really? That’s not fair.
God: Ok here’s the message. STOP WORRYING! I got this!
God: Seriously, Marcia. You and my people need to know their planning is futile. It’s cute but don’t waste energy trying to plan and predict every little detail. Worrying is an absolute waste of time and energy so stop it. Besides, my plan with override yours anyway.
Me: Yes, Lord. Got it.
God: Calm down today. Your fussing isn’t helping anyone. Now go write and tell them I love them and I miss them.
So there you have it. Sorry it that was more about my crazy over active brain today. I guess the value in sharing these is so you know you’re not the only one that struggles with silly stuff like this. Today is going to be a good day. He’s already got this in His hands. I hope you’ll join me in laying our troubles and worries at the foot of the cross. Take a deep breath. You got this!
Make Today Count and may God Bless you today and every day.