I took a pass on blogging yesterday because I was feeling tapped out. I struggled to find joy in the mundane. The well was dry. I struggled to find a way to fill my spirit back up. I was still reading. I was still writing but all of a sudden I was disconnected. Here’s how the conversation(s) went today. I say multiple because it didn’t end after my prayer/meditation time.
Me: Good morning, Lord. I really need to feel a connection to you today.
God: You feel like you lost the connection?
Me: Yes, actually I do. I don’t know what’s different.
God: Settle in, child and spend some time with me.
Me: I’m reading, I’m writing, I’m …
God: Stop. I know and those are great but why is your heart become hardened?
Me: I don’t know. I just want to feel like I’m doing what you want me to do. I feel like I have a lot to share and give.
God: And you do and you will.
~my mind wanders and goes a bit hay wire. Ok… centered… I’m back…. breath deep… .put all those worries in a box and send it down stream. Oops… box is too big today. It won’t fit in the stream. Crap, now what? And… .we’re back ~
God: Well that was interesting. Child, what are you doing? Come take my hands. Now relax. I need you to work on you today. That’s what this time is for. It’s important and cannot be rushed or skipped. Soften your heart towards yourself.
Me: I feel stuck in a rut.
God: You’re not stuck. You’re re-energizing.
Me: There’s so much pain in the world.
God: I know. I hear their cries in the dark and I know you do too.
Me: Let me do this then… I’ll put my prayer requests at your feet….
Me: Lord, my prayer for today is this… .Please…. no… wait… back up… Let me restart.
Me: Thank you, Lord for all that you have given me and all that you are. You are the Almighty… Creator of all things known and unknown. (pause)
God: Keep going. What’s you’re “wish” today. By the way, I’m not a genie in a bottle or a magic lamp that you can rub the side of for 3 wishes.
Me: I know. ( I continue but won’t bore you with the details)
God: Ok. Anything else?
Me: Yes. Please help me to love more fully and deeply those that you put in my path. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.
God: Good job, Marcia. Now spend a few minutes with me.
After I was done with my mediation and prayer time I got my day started. I was in the shower and I hear “If you aren’t grateful and appreciative of all that I have given you, why would I give you more?
Ouch! My eye flew open. THAT’S IT! Thank you for clean hot water. Thank you for soft towels… I start naming everything in sight that I’m thankful for. Heat that works… and the list goes on.
As I continued to get ready the conversation with God continued and I realized the source of some of my unsettledness. Yesterday I struggled to find Joy in the Mundane. Questions like What is Joy? Such simple words but hard to describe, hard to grasp, hard to quantify. When I took a step back and focused on be thankful and grateful it came into sharper focus.
It’s almost Thanksgiving and I think the word “thankful” is over used and watered down. We toss it around so freely and willy nilly but are we really thankful? Or are we going through the motions?
I challenge you today… what are you thankful for? Sometimes it takes those things being gone before we realize how important they are to us.
Here’s an example… I didn’t realize how important my health was until I got the dreaded news of cancer 3 1/2 years ago. Through that ordeal I became thankful for a lot! When I lost my taste buds in chemo…boy was I thankful to have those back. When I lost my hair… boy was I thankful for having that back. Even today.. if I have a bad hair day I’m thankful I have hair to worry about. Even in the struggle with cancer I made it a point to find joy in the mundane and be thankful for EVERY THING! I’m thankful for each day I get to enjoy.
I hope you don’t have to go through something like that but the point is still the same regardless of where you are and what you’re dealing with. Start small… name the things you’re thankful for throughout the day. See what a difference it can make.
Most of all…. Make Today Count. You make a difference!