I’ve been wrestling with this for a while and that is part of why I haven’t written in a while. While reading “Undomesticating God” by Jennifer O’Sullivan (www.HolyJustLove.com) I finally had a moment of clarity…. several actually.
It’s the age old question of what’s my purpose? What’s the point in all of this? What is Heaven? I know you ask those questions too. Here’s my take. Your view may be entirely different than mine and I’m absolutely open to hearing your thoughts. Stick with me though as I pour this out of my brain and my heart….
My vision of heaven is probably a little different than most people. To me it’s not – fluffy clouds, singing hymns and playing harps, nor one long kumbaya.
To me it’s putting the skills and gifts I have to work for the Kingdom of God. Additionally, just because He may know my name doesn’t mean I have an automatic ticket to enter.
Here’s the point – it’s not about the good deeds that I choose to do. God wants people in his Kingdom that have listened to Him and obeyed Him.
The works you do are nice. That’s great. Go for it. However, what counts is what He asks you do to and do you obey? Are you communicating with Him? Do you know Him? Does He know you?
Look at it this way… If God were in a stadium and you’re in the audience. You’re in the crowd full of screaming fans. Dancing and Waving and full of energy. You can sing all the songs. He glances your way. He gives a casual wave, if you’re even lucky enough for him to glance your way. No different than to any other in the crowd.
The event is over and you go backstage to see him and have the person at the door “Can you tell Him that Marcia is here to see Him?” Does He say “Marcia who?” Or does He say “Send her in. I’m glad she’s here. She’s the one that did what I asked her to do”?
This is where I struggle. I feel those gentle tugs on my heart to do His will. I “try” to do what He’s asked but I’m pretty good and pushing that aside and do what’s comfortable for me instead.
Here’s an example – I was in Chicago last week. As I was walking down the street I saw a young homeless woman. She had to be in her early 20’s. I felt God telling me to talk to her…help her…. speak to her. At the very last minute as I was walking quickly by her, I chickened out but not entirely. I paused and asked her if she wanted a bottle of water. She gratefully accepted it and said thank you. I shoved my hands back in my pockets and hustled down the street. That’s good enough, right? Nope. That brief interaction stuck with me for blocks and blocks… and days and days. I realize that I did more than 99% of the people that walk past her every day. That’s not the point. I did His will half way. I lacked courage. I chickened out. I stayed comfortable.
Would God be happy with me? I gave her water, right? Nope. What if that was my job in heaven? What if I did it half way? What if I never gain the courage to do His full will?UGH!
I do view heaven as me having a role or a job there. It’s not sitting around eating ice cream and not getting fat. I view us as having a role, a function, a purpose.
In this life I work for Him. I don’t work for me. I don’t work for my company. I work for Him. (Colossians 3:23 – Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters)
With that in mind, I view this life as a training ground for the next life when I’m with Jesus in heaven. My struggle is living it for Him and not for me so He knows my name. I strive to have the courage to do what He’s asking of me and not brush it aside. I struggle with staying comfortable and doing the good deeds that I choose versus doing the hard things he wants me to do.
The struggle is real, friends. How will you answer His call? Are you even having the conversations with Him to hear his voice? Please pray for me and I muster the courage to figure all this out and do His will. I pray that you, too, make progress in your journey and have the courage to do His will.
Make Today Count!